A favorite Jewish t-shirt slogan reads “Born to Kvetch.” A book was written in 2005 by the same title. Is kvetching really a Jewish value? Like with most things, it depends on context. I would like to use an incident from this week’s Parsha to demonstrate that kvetching about someone else getting more than you is most certainly (to be read “soy-ten-ly”) not a Jewish value.
In the first chapter of Bamidbar (Numbers), G-d instructs Moses to appoint a tribal leader (Nassi) for each of the twelve tribes, to assist with the census and the administration of their tribe. They are then identified by name. The Nassi of the tribe of Gad is Eliasaf ben De’uel.
In chapter two the Torah describes the layout of the Israelite encampment as they traveled through the Sinai Desert. The twelve tribes were divided into four camps of three tribes. Each of the four camps was led by one of the tribes. Here again the names of the twelve tribal leaders are mentioned. However, here the name of the Nassi of Gad is presented as Eliasaf ben Re’uel.
Several commentators address this discrepancy. The 18th century sage, Chida (Rabbi Chaim Y.D. Azulai) bases his explanation on a teaching in another work, Noam Megadim, addressing the question of why the tribe of Gad merited to have Moses interred in their portion of Eretz Yisrael on the East Bank of the Jordan River.
He explains that when Moshe divided the camps of Israel into four groups of three tribes, he placed the tribe of Gad under the “Flag of Leadership” of the tribe of Dan. Now the tribe of Gad could have had a legitimate cause to kvetch about that placement. Just as Dan was a firstborn to his mother, Bilhah, Gad was a firstborn to his mother, Zilpah. So why should Gad have to play second fiddle to Dan? Yet, the tribe of Gad, under the leadership of their Nassi, Eliasaf, opted to accept their placement without complaint, thereby saving Moshe the trouble of having to defend the decision. For this they merited to have Moshe buried in their portion.
Chida explains, the word Re’uel means beloved of G-d, a reference to Moshe. This is why the name of Eliasaf’s father is changed to Re’uel when describing the encampment. For that was the context in which Gad was acquiescent to Moshe’s leadership. The decision not to kvetch gave them the privilege of proximity to Moshe, the beloved of G-d.
So, the next time your kid kvetches that his sister got a larger slice of cake… tell ‘em that kvetching is not a Jewish value. While we may have been “born to kvetch,” at some point you have to grow up.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Mendel Rivkin