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A favorite Jewish t-shirt slogan reads “Born to Kvetch.” A book was written in 2005 by the same title. Is kvetching really a Jewish value? Like with most things, it depends on context. I would like to use an incident from this week’s Parsha to demonstrate that kvetching about someone else getting more than you is most certainly (to be read “soy-ten-ly”) not a Jewish value.

In the first chapter of Bamidbar (Numbers), G-d instructs Moses to appoint a tribal leader (Nassi) for each of the twelve tribes, to assist with the census and the administration of their tribe. They are then identified by name. The Nassi of the tribe of Gad is Eliasaf ben De’uel.

In chapter two the Torah describes the layout of the Israelite encampment as they traveled through the Sinai Desert. The twelve tribes were divided into four camps of three tribes. Each of the four camps was led by one of the tribes. Here again the names of the twelve tribal leaders are mentioned. However, here the name of the Nassi of Gad is presented as Eliasaf ben Re’uel.

Several commentators address this discrepancy. The 18^th century sage, Chida (Rabbi Chaim Y.D. Azulai) bases his explanation on a teaching in another work, Noam Megadim, addressing the question of why the tribe of Gad merited to have Moses interred in their portion of Eretz Yisrael on the East Bank of the Jordan River.

He explains that when Moshe divided the camps of Israel into four groups of three tribes, he placed the tribe of Gad under the “Flag of Leadership” of the tribe of Dan. Now the tribe of Gad could have had a legitimate cause to kvetch about that placement. Just as Dan was a firstborn to his mother, Bilhah, Gad was a firstborn to his mother, Zilpah. So why should Gad have to play second fiddle to Dan? Yet, the tribe of Gad, under the leadership of their Nassi, Eliasaf, opted to accept their placement without complaint, thereby saving Moshe the trouble of having to defend the decision. For this they merited to have Moshe buried in their portion.

Chida explains, the word Re’uel means beloved of G-d, a reference to Moshe. This is why the name of Eliasaf’s father is changed to Re’uel when describing the encampment. For that was the context in which Gad was acquiescent to Moshe’s leadership. The decision not to kvetch gave them the privilege of proximity to Moshe, the beloved of G-d.

So, the next time your kid kvetches that his sister got a larger slice of cake… tell ‘em that kvetching is not a Jewish value. While we may have been “born to kvetch,” at some point you have to grow up.

Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Mendel Rivkin

Earlier this week, my son Eliyahu experienced a biking mishap resulting in a broken wrist. It is tough to see your child in pain and wait with them in the emergency room for some relief. He is not my first kid to get fit with a cast. What made this unique is that he is three weeks away from his Bar Mitzvah. After ascertaining that he was going to be ok, my first thought was, “poor kid, his first opportunity to fulfill the Mitzvah of tefillin will be compromised by the cast on his left arm, which prevents him from properly winding the straps directly on his arm.”

Thinking about it a little more I recalled a story that changed my mindset. Two of the early Chassidic masters, the brothers, Reb Zushe and Reb Elimelech, spent time traveling incognito for a particular mission. During their travels, the “socially conscious” Russian police arrested them in middle of the night for “loitering.” They were thrown into a large cell that held many inmates, mostly drunk Russian peasants. In middle of the room was a chamber pot for the inmates’ use.

In the morning, Reb Zushe began to cry in despair. The presence of the filthy chamber pot in the room precluded them from being allowed to pray. He lamented the fact that it would be the first time in his adult life that he was unable to lay tefillin and pray. Reb Elimelech consoled him saying, “brother, the same G-d that commanded you to lay tefillin and pray each day, commanded you not to pray in the presence of filth. As a servant of G-d you simply have a different mission today.”

Reb Zushe was very inspired by his brother’s words, and he began to dance with joy at his newly discovered opportunity to serve Hashem. As the brothers danced, they were joined by the peasants who welcomed the distraction. Hearing noise emanating from the cell, the guard inquired as to what sparked the celebration. One of the peasants informed him that he wasn’t sure, but it had something to do with that bucket in middle of the room… crazy Jews… Hearing this, the guard tossed the chamber pot out of the room. Upon seeing what the guard did, Reb Elimelech chuckled to his brother and said, “nu brother, let’s go daven.”

Applying this to Eliyahu’s situation, we assumed that Hashem wanted to be served by Eliyahu wearing his tefillin in the “proper” way. It seems that Hashem wanted otherwise. Now, he will have the chance to serve Hashem in an unconventional manner, by winding the straps over his cast. Or maybe, Hashem has a trick up “His sleeve” and when we go for the follow up appointment before the Bar Mitzvah, the cast will be replaced by something removable or will no longer be needed altogether. Either way, Eliyahu will “report for duty” that morning, and whatever orders the Commander-In-Chief has for him that day will be carried out joyfully.

Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Mendel Rivkin